I believe it was Oscar Wilde who said England and America are two countries separated by a common language. Truer words were never spoken. Take for example in a hospital. When I heard one of the nurses called sister, I expected to see a woman in a nun’s habit. If you addressed a surgeon in America as Mr., he would very quickly correct you and say he is board certified and to address him as Dr.
Cars are a whole different thing. Your boot is our trunk, your bonnet is our hood, your wing is our fender and your windscreen is our windshield.
You can’t blame us for being a little confused. You claim t]o detest the French, but then you throw all these French words at us. Words like aubergine, courgette and cloche instead of eggplant, zucchini and cover.
In music, which is supposed to be the universal language, it’s all Greek to us. Your quaver is our quarter note, your semi-breve is a half note, your breve is a whole note. It really becomes confusing when you start talking about semi, hemi, demi quavers, which are eighth, sixteenth, thirty-second and sixty-fourth notes respectively. If you want an American musician to make a change to their music, never tell them to get their rubbers out or you may find yourself looking a lot of condoms. What you should ask for is an eraser.
Even your insults mean nothing to us. Words such as berk, plonker, pillock and git simply draw blank expressions from Americans.
After ten years of living amongst the British, it has become easier, but not perfect.